the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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