you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
