you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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