My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
