shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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