in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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