We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
