he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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