So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
