When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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