carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
