The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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