STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
