I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
