the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
