It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think your dad took our porno
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
