i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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