We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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