the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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