ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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