he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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