I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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