Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
