i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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