the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
