I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Cover your peen. We're going out.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize