Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
