I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
