is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
