Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
