I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
