This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
