im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
