My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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