How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
