Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
