so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize