I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
