I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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