@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
