Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
