scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
