Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
