Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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