yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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