Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
