all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
