And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
