I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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