Reggie can tackle my bush.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
