Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize