the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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