I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dear god my vagina.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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