Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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