please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
