Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
pray to the hookup gods
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
