you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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