i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
