We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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