Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
