if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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